Morzine has gone Cycle mad.

After the Tour de France or Le Tour, as they call it here road through town, Morzine is mad about bicycles.  Almost every other building is painted up with red spots.  Red spots on a white jersey signify the “King of the Mountain”.  Although there are many cycle rental and repair shops, I was pleased to find this, a DIY manual.  Being half way up a mountain, I want to know my bike is in tip-top shape and being an underemployed skier funds are shall we say, tight.

Being up in the mountains makes life seem simpler, there are fewer shops, so there is less to want or have marketed at you.  It’s also a place where people come to relax and unwind meaning although most people only stay for a week they are here to forget their troubles and have fun.  Helping to give the town a transient but happy vibe.

Brexit, what will it mean to UK ski bums?

As someone who spends a vast amount of my life on the continent, what will Brexit mean to me?

The first and scariest thing for any UK national is will I be able to stay in the French Alps. I feel more at home in France than the UK, like many previous seasonnaires, it saddens me to think that the next couple of years may be my last. In the short term, let’s be realistic here.

Firstly, we haven’t filed Article 50, also if Theresa May becomes the next Prime Minister, I doubt it will happen. The last committee set up by a UK government (Chilcot) took seven years to deliver a report and although damning it didn’t suggest legal responsibility.

From a financial point of view, it’s already a different world. The plus side is companies like Transfer Wise offer some of the best rates on the day. Anyone working in France and needing to send money back to the UK to pay bills is probably (like me), happy at the moment, a weaker pound makes UK bills cheaper. I believe it’s time to do a financial spring clean. Looking at all of the deals again and reassessing the options.

Personally, I went with GiffGaff as my UK mobile provider, mainly for the flexibility it offers and a Free mobile sim for France.

My overall view is one of sadness, I hope the UK and France can come to an arrangement allowing us all to work, trade and live as we always have been.

The End is Near…

The season is coming to an end and although the clock change as made the evenings lighter and the mornings are getting warmer making the trek down to the toastie bar much easier.  The walk is now pleasant and the freezing morning temperatures of January are now a distant memory.  The toastie days are great fun; there is something special about creating food, watching people enjoy your product – it warms the soul.  The delight of the Easter holidays are the numbers of people queueing for a toastie.  It’s incredibly satisfying to think hundreds of people have decided to queue for your offering, ignoring all of the alternative eateries to dine with me. am going to miss the toastie bar once the season ends, it’s been an emotional experience full of highs and lows, friendship and drama but most importantly it helped me get back on my feet again.

I am going to miss the toastie bar when the season ends, it’s been an emotional experience full of highs and lows, friendship and drama, but most importantly it helped me get back on my feet again.

 

Happy Easter, everyone.

Happy Easter, I hope you have fresh snow and lots of chocolate. 🙂

Please keep your skiing tips to yourself…

It’s been a wonderful few days in Morzine, the snow has arrived and wow, it’s dumping most evenings.  I cannot explain the excitement of waking most mornings to fresh snow, it’s similar to being a child on Christmas morning, except Christmas has been coming most days.  The whole atmosphere has changed too, everyone is happy and the toasties bar is heaving.  There’s something very therapeutic about food preparation, the key being you get to make something people then consume and tell you is amazing.  I guess I feel validated and my decision to open this hut was a good one.

In fact, the only thing that has taken the edge off of these perfect conditions are British “know it all” skiers.  These are the skiers who are self-appointed ski instructors and probably have fewer snow hours logged than my adopted dog, Pablo.  If Lindsey Vonn suggested a technique change then, of course, I would listen but a dumb Brit, please keep your ideas to yourself.  There’s nothing more annoying than a self-appointed ski instructor and you know they cannot be a local because ESF (the real ski instructors) would have put a rocket up their ass.  They take the edge off of the day and are normally wrong to boot.  They make a mountain more dangerous and should ideally be banned from the slopes.  Sadly, that will have to remain my little fantasy and I’ll just have to plug in my iPod and listen to my music as I whizz past them and their ill-fated ski lessons.

The season is fast drawing to a close and I can barely believe how quickly this experience has flown by.  It’s had its ups and downs but overall it’s been a positive thing to have done and when I head back to the UK.

An idea that simply makes sense…

If like me, you are fed up of trying to read a soggy piste map then this is your answer.  I have dye-sub printed the Piste Map onto high-quality goggles cleaning cloth (it also works for glasses)  These maps are designed to easily fit in your pocket and will not run or smudge due to the printing technology, you can use them time and time again.  Simply dry it out on the radiator and you’ll be good to go.

This map is for the Roc d’Enfer ski plateau, other areas are available upon request.  If you have any questions or to order yours – click here.

I made it…

With March beginning, the world seems a lot better.  The school children and their unbearable parents have vacated the slopes and life’s returning to normal.  It’s amazing how the town changes once February comes to an end.  There’s a sense of optimism March brings, snow is falling thick and fast most nights, making the skiing phenomenal.  The world always feels better after an off-piste run through fresh powder.

For me, money has got a little easier with the toastie bar becoming established and now most mornings, there’s a queue.  Phew.  The success of the toastie bar has helped banish the work daemons I had from my old life.  I feel better knowing I’m a functioning member of society, making a valued contribution.  I’m now feeling happier and for the first time in eighteen months, I have savings!

February Blues?

The reality of life in a ski resort has begun to set in, the initial novelty of seeing snow from your bedroom window has now worn a little thin. Tiredness, exhaustion and poverty are the reality of life in a ski resort. I know I am luckier than most my bills are low, and I’ve recently found an additional job working for a foreign exchange company.

My supplementary income means I’m no longer relying on toastie bar tips to pay for the luxuries. The downside of living in a holiday resort are the inflated prices, nine euro beers and twenty euro pizzas are difficult to manage.   Saving money for my next trip seemed impossible as almost all of my money I earned was needed to support my modest lifestyle.

One week I had eleven pence in my account after bills and was not looking forward to a week of pasta and pesto from the store cupboard. I remember finding a ten euro note on the floor and felt as if I had won the lottery, this was how tight things got.

My story of depravity is a minor one, “boy nearly has to eat pasta from the cupboard for a whole week”, others were not so lucky, credit cards hitting limits and living on stale croissants and leftovers.

Most seasonaires have tales of February woes.  February goes from bad to worse once the school holidays begin.  The slopes become busy and the ability to escape and enjoy the mountain become harder.  Ironically, I need a quiet mountain and a chance to race down a piste. The opportunity to cut loose, forget all of my problems and live in the moment.  Filling my friends Facebook feeds with snow selfies, but alas that will have to wait.

Half term hell…

The downside of living in a holiday resort are the school holidays. Winter half-term brings every Rupert, Sky, Oscar and Hubert to the region. It’s the parents I detest the most, their spoilt little brats are simply a result of their upbringing. The parents dressed top to toe in designer ski wear, proving that their credit card has a higher limit than their ability.

I find their ridiculous rhetoric hilarious, one mother this week so far has managed to insult three of my friends with her attitude, needless to say, her morning half-shot soy cappuccino contains one part semen. She decided to tell her child “if you don’t work hard at school, you’ll have to work in a menial job like these people.” I guess to her we were the equivalent of an Indian untouchable. I find it funny that another human being considers themselves far better because of capitalism. As a small business owner, a Cambridge graduate and someone who’s met Prince Charles, I can tell you, they’re credit cretins. A credit cretin relies massively on rising house prices and the lines of credit this provides, financing their life of perpetual debt. They then use this “wealth” to impress others and validate their social standing.

Ironically they probably have less genuine disposable income than most of the people they insult. Personally, I think they are scared of us, we’ve let go of the financial norm and now spend our days free and our nights are not spent worrying about the size of our bonuses. The best line so far, you have no idea how little a £1,000,000 bonus buys these days. Wow, thank goodness I don’t have this problem. Imagine the pressure it puts on you and your family, if you lose your job, you’ll lose your status, house and potentially friends. Money is a tool, use it carefully to carve out a future but never forget, it’s only a shovel and not a solution.

Netflix and Chill, the alpine alternatives…

So I recently got down with the kids and now understand what the phrase “Netflix and Chill” actually means. Sadly half way up a French mountain, my internet connection is so bad that Netflix is a distant dream. It was only last August my hamlet got a second-hand 3G mobile mast installed, 4G is a distant dream as is a connection of more than 1MBPS.

For me, the alpine alternative is Log fires, hot cocoa, and marshmallows, I admit, I’m getting a bit older and in the spirit of “the kids” it’s probably more likely to be Jager-bombs and table dancing. Two issues as far as I can see with this, one Jagermeister makes me feel worse than death the next morning and secondly, my table top dancing days are behind me. Unless I decide to resurrect my alter-ego but that involves tape in all sorts of awkward places. 😉

I think the plus side of getting older is you care less about what other people think of you. I’m now at the stage in my life that I no longer require copious amounts of alcohol to feel confident and I’m finally happy and coming to terms with getting older. The mountains mean different things to different people and no one’s experience is wrong.